Speak the truth in love

What we say and why we say it has a great impact on our relationships. Can we have bad results even when telling the truth? Is it okay to lie for a good reason? 

"Is it good to lie for a good cause?" It is a question that is asked frequently. The answers to that question are somewhat interesting.

One person replied: “In my opinion, the basis of moral action is to speak freely to maximize the well-being of others and minimize the harm you do to others. A rule such as 'never lie', in my opinion, is not the basis for moral action, but instead is always a direct consequence of trying to be moral in the first place. Lying can be, in my view, sometimes moral. ”

Is this really so?

Another person cited a religious figure who offered a traditionalist conclusion: “It is a sin for someone to lie. When you lie for a good cause, ie, to save someone else, it is half a sin, because the lie is for the benefit of your neighbor and not for yourself. However, it is something that is considered sin. Therefore we must keep this in mind and not fall into the habit of telling lies about insignificant things. "

So is it okay to lie for a good cause? What does God say about lies and truth and our motivation?

God's parameter

The underlying motivation that God has and what He wants us to have is love (Matthew 22: 37-40). Based on this, the apostle Paul offers us an important parameter for Christian communication.

Speaking to the Church in Ephesus, he warned Christians against being moved by the winds of false teaching. Instead, by "speaking the truth in love," they "would grow in all in him who is the head, that is, Christ," who makes him receive his growth "to build himself up in love" (Ephesians 4:14). -16).

Speaking the truth in love, according to the teaching of the Bible, helps to combat false doctrine, promotes growth among Christians and brings us closer to the perfect image of Christ.

Many understand that it is possible to tell lies out of hatred, but can you tell lies out of love? Or, also, can one speak the truth without love? It may seem surprising to some, but it is possible to do all of these things — and fall short of God's standard. Let's see why.

Tell lies out of hatred

Examples of this abound. Perhaps the most horrible example of all is the deceitful response of the serpent Satan in the Garden of Eden. God Himself had told Adam and Eve that if they ate the fruit of the forbidden tree, they would "die" (Genesis 2:17).

Satan contradicted God with the first lie recorded on the pages of Scripture. He said to our parents: “You will not die; but God knows that the day you eat from it, your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil ”(Genesis 3: 4-5).

This was, in fact, a misrepresented lie. They took from the forbidden tree, and their eyes were opened (v. 7). But the prerogative to decide good and evil remained with the Creator, and death and disaster were the consequences of this decision. The Savior Jesus Christ would later say that the devil “has not remained in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaks lies, he speaks of himself; for he is a liar, and the father of lies "(John 8:44).

Long after the lie in the Garden of Eden, a true prophet had to defend himself against many liars, who, like the devil, did not care about those who claimed to love. The message of the false prophets during Jeremiah's time was: “Peace, peace; and there is no peace ”(Jeremiah 6:14; 8:11).

The false prophets claimed to love the people of Judah; but if their love were true, they would have been told that they should change their ways and repent before God. This fell to the prophet Jeremiah, one who truly loved God and people, and gave them a difficult message. He passionately preached that they needed to change their way of life.

Lies for love?

Is it possible to say that we love someone and lie to them? Could falsehood be like a sweet topping and sell it as if it were true?

Consider the case of a famous letter written by an eight-year-old girl to a newspaper in 1897. The letter has become legendary. Virginia O´Hanlon worried about what some of her school friends were saying to her. She then sat down and wrote a letter to the New York Sun newspaper , prompting an editorial response dated September 21, 1897.  

The purpose of the editorial was to reaffirm the little girl regarding the existence of Santa Claus. Part of the editor's response is this: “Yes, Virginia, there is Santa Claus. He exists just as love and generosity and devotion truly exist, and you know that they abound and give your life the most incredible beauty and joy. Oh! What would the world of darkness be like if there were no Santa Claus?… There would be no faith in children, there would be no poetry, no romance that would make existence bearable. We would have no joy except in the senses and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished. "

Tender words, designed, without a doubt, to make children happy! But are they true? Of course not.

Undoubtedly, the author of this famous editorial would have claimed that he acted out of love. However, is it really love if what he says is false? No, according to the Word of God.

If you don't tell the children the truth about Santa Claus, will they believe what we say about Jesus Christ?

Truth without love?

Is it possible to tell the truth with the wrong motivation? Yes, these wrong motives bring us negative consequences — sometimes to the point of the message, and always to the malicious speaker.

In the New Testament, the apostle Paul wrote from his difficult prison experience about those who at least preached a part of the true gospel, but with the wrong motivation. “Some, in truth, preach Christ out of envy and strife; but others of good will… Some announce Christ by contention, not honestly, thinking to add affliction to my prisons ”(Philippians 1: 15-16). Truth preached by wrong motivation? This has happened - and can happen.

But don't think that those who preached for the wrong reason won God's favor. God judges hearts.

More often, people justify their gossip and slander as truth - but truth is used as a weapon and with a wrong motive. The Bible strongly warns us against gossip and the disclosure of confidential information (Proverbs 11:13; 16:27).  

Speak the truth in love!

This remains "the golden rule". This is what the Word of God requires and nothing less will suffice. The truth that is spoken in a spirit of selfishness is not enough. Nor is falsehood spoken of on the basis of misunderstood love.

Telling the truth in love can hurt. Sometimes we, as true prophets, must say things that can be difficult to assimilate. But generally speaking the truth in love — tactfully, gracefully, with a humble attitude of esteeming the listener as superior to us (Colossians 4: 6; Philippians 2: 3 ) —will produce peace and stronger relationships.

When we are motivated by love — God's genuine concern for others — we will choose our words carefully and meticulously. As Paul wrote: "No corrupt word comes out of your mouth, but only one that is good for the necessary edification, in order to give grace to the hearers" (Ephesians 4:29). We must choose words that build — that build, encourage, and strengthen. "Speaking the truth" does not include making ruthless, unsolicited, tactless, critical comments, just because they are true.

Lies finally lead us to betrayal; and the truth finally leads us to well-being, trust and cooperation. From God's perspective, this is what counts. “Wherefore, discarding the lie, speak truth each one with his neighbor; for we are members of one another ”(Ephesians 4:25).

Speak the truth in love! Anything other than this will harm relationships and be unacceptable to God.